Friday, August 12, 2016

The Gay Marriage That Broke The Nigerian Internet

Eric Shoen-Ukre and David Shoen-Ukre walked down the aisle for the first time as a legally married couple. 
We tried very carefully to make sure this wouldn’t happen. Guests were instructed not to take photos during the ceremony. We were very particular about who was invited. It was a sad added bonus that most of the guests from Nigeria cancelled just 24 hours before the ceremony.

On July 30, I married a Nigerian man. Although he is very special to me, he is not famous. He has never done anything to warrant so much media coverage. We had a small ceremony under the leaves of some great old trees on the lawn of an adorable little restaurant. My family and our closest friends joined us. Our vow exchange was only 30 minutes long. 

Eric and David hold hands after the ceremony, showing off their new wedding rings. 

What followed was a day of love, laughter, joy, eating, sore feet, kids running circles around the yard, and family and friends celebrating our day together. We posted only a few photos to our Facebook pages and asked guests to not post photos or mention our marriage. 

Eric and David take a moment to dance outside in the sun after celebrating their wedding together. 
That night, we went out dancing to a club with friends who stayed over. The next morning, we decided to take some friends with us on the first day of our honeymoon to see Niagara Falls. We were still enjoying every moment of calling each other husband, taking photos kissing in front of the falls, getting sprayed at the Cave of the Winds, and accepting well wishing texts from family and friends.

Monday morning, I woke up early to return the rental car that we had used for the weekend. When I returned, my husband was pacing and crying, distraught, pointing to his phone. Somehow, someone had either sold or given photos from our wedding and first dance to one of Nigeria’s notorious gossip bloggers, Linda Ikeji who chose to publish them on her blog. Whether to out David and make a mockery or to somehow use it as advocacy, no one knows. What we do know is that she had no permission from either of us to use our photos or story. 

My husband calls me “the fixer” for a reason. I felt like I might be able to fix this before it got out of control. I called my sister who is an attorney for advice. Given that the information was posted on an international site, there was little we could do. My friends at Google and Blog-spot, and attorneys who are friends of mine gave me the same unfortunate news. Mind you, this is all happening at 6:30 a.m. on a Monday morning. Friends from all over the USA messaged me as soon as I posted on my Facebook for some assistance. 
The groomsmen take a stroll before the reception. 
I did contact the blogger directly via email and asked that the photos of our wedding, of our trip with my family, photos of our groomsmen, and direct quotes from my Facebook page be removed. I quickly locked down the security on my Facebook which had been relatively open so that I could use it for advertising and sales. I never heard back from her.